Free

Hello, I'm Laura and I like to blog for a few weeks then stop for a few months. 

Yeah. I had all the greatest intentions to stay on top of posting weekly but, life gets in the way and I make a priority list. This blog is usually the last thing on the list. Sadly enough, I want to blog so that my kids can someday read these...it's like a fun scrapbook that I don't have to worry about misplacing or losing...which would totally happen. I always see those parents that make these amazing keepsakes for their kids, like videos and scrapbooks or notebooks full of their quotes or little memories! I love that!! I always beat myself up about how I never started anything like that when Cody was little or even now as Eisley came along. But, that's why I always try to come back to this blog. Maybe just maybe this could be a constant. Sadly, that's never been the case. 

I don't know if it's lack of time management or just feeling self conscience about what I write not being good enough. Good enough for who you ask?? Well, I don't know. I figure if it's up, might as well make it entertaining enough for everyone else to read too right? But really, I write to those of you who can relate. Of course I want to inspire people with little things here and there, but mostly I seek motivation and advice from those who have been there, done that. Although I do have people to connect with about being a mom, wife, homeschooling, working mom...etc. Somehow the combining of all those is when there are less to connect with. So that leaves me asking God...."Do you have a Pinterest board?" Could you imagine if he did!! Oh man, that thing would be overflowing with useful tips and tricks and would have the best graphic quotes and verses!! haha!! I wonder if he'd repin all those "All I need today is a little bit of coffee and a whole lot of Jesus" signs and shirts, Hahaha. Now I've distracted myself. 

But Honestly, life is in a constant state of change and there are seasons that I feel I've done it again. I've picked the wrong path again. I've failed. For some reason, those lies tend to show up when there is an opportunity for growth. I've been through it enough to see the pattern now. But, it's still a struggle. What a crazy lie though. I think it comes from the very early years of learning what it meant to believe in Jesus. Instead of focusing on a relationship, it was all about right and wrong. Which makes sense when you learn about Jesus from being so little. I find that to be what I teach my kids about. "Are we loving like Jesus when we hit?" Hitting=Wrong ...so I can see where if not elaborated on it can be a very black and white way of thinking...atleast that's what I take from my upbringing. 

My parents were amazing, but my own interpretation of believing was a lot of right and wrong choices. Fast foward to getting married and having kids and here we are. A better understanding of Grace. Let me tell you, when I heard songs about being free, I couldn't tell you what the first thing about what being free felt like. I knew I believed in Jesus and I knew I'd be with him in heaven when the time came and till then I would serve him because that's what you do. But Grace....I didn't know I needed it, better yet, I didn't know he gave it so freely. I didn't have the slightest clue of how deeply my creator loved me. That, that relationship is what I want my kids to experience now...not years down the road, not after their kids are grown...but now! When I looked at my creator as much more than just my provider, my strength, my savior, I started to see a father. I know.....how weird to know Jesus for all my life but not see him as my father! To tell you the truth, I was blessed with a pretty amazing earthly one and just didn't see how Jesus could love me more. But he does! He sees me for who I am when no one else is around! He knows what I was created for and knows my heart better than anyone else on this planet. He will love me, no matter what path I choose and that truly made me free. That song "Good, Good Father" totally gets my every time. It's such a crazy feeling to know that someone loves you that much, more than the greatest love you have ever felt..BUT HE DOES!! You don't have to do a SINGLE thing for him to love you that way! HE JUST DOES!! You'll never earn it or deserve it (Romans 5:8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.) HE JUST LOVES YOU!!! Yup YOU the one who keeps messing up, the one who feels like there's no hope, the one who just can't love themselves. YOU! You are worth more than rubies (Proverbs 3:15)!! So if you read this whole thing *High Five* know that you are loved. Even if you start blogs and stop updating...even if you decided to give the kids "Nature Class" (Playing outside) for school on days you just can't think straight and even if you jump into things with all your heart and have to jump out because you were in over your head. God is not disappointed, he loves you, HE JUST DOES!